Living with the Princess

About a year ago, my daughter Clare decided she was only going to wear dresses. Since then, I've heard that this is not uncommon in girls. They go through a phase for or a year or two where it's dresses all the time. I don't mind, except for her reasoning. When I suggest she might want to wear shorts or leggings (because we're going to the playground or it's chilly) she informs me that, no, she has to wear a dress, because "girls wear dresses and boys wear pants."

I have no idea where this notion comes from. Most people I tell this to say, "TV," but I'm pretty sure not. Her favorite shows are Curious George and Handy Manny, and you'd be hard-pressed to find two more barrier-breaking shows. George's neighborhood is as diverse as Sesame Street (a previous favorite) and when Handy Manny needs advice on how to fix something, he goes to Kelly, the (female) owner of the town's hardware store.

Yet this rigidly-defined gender stereotype persists. My husband and I were watching an episode of the old "Dick Van Dyke Show" recently, and when Mary Tyler Moore came onscreen in her signature capri pants, Clare started to laugh. "She's dressed like a Daddy!" she declared between giggles.

And it's not like I'm super-girly. In fact, I've worn a dress once in Clare's life that I can recall, and that was the day she was baptized. Not that this stops Clare from suggesting every morning I change out of my jeans and put on something more appropriate (i.e. a dress.)

The one comfort I take is that her clothing seems to be the one concession she makes to traditional gender roles. She keeps up with any boy on the playground, and has never blinked at her female doctor or our female minister. She's even down with one of her friends having two mommies (although she did ask why one of his mommies didn't wear a dress.)